My Better-Worst Half

Darkness dawns

I’ve still not found ma way

I feel a strain, I encounter pain

She bears me down

He chokes me by my neck

I gather strength

As I try to rise

I find the strength

And succeed in killing pain

My success is transient

Pain resurrects, along with fear

Swarming around me

They taunt and rape me…

…With thorns

Pain, empowered by despair

Leaves scarlet red scars all over me

My flesh, wounded and bleeding

Becomes tender to any kind of touch

Painfully tender

Pain, helped by sorrow,

Stare into my eyes and smile

A cold smile

I shiver

Yet, my heart warms

I hated it

Pain, accompanied by anger, draws close

I feel his breath

Inhale her fragrance

I tense to pain’s kiss

Rough but sweet

This time, I didn’t reject her

I didn’t fight him

I hate that I love it

I enjoyed, and adore the thrill

Pain’s thrill

Twas erotically fulfilling

I desired pain in me, and yearned for its sear

I felt him plough through me

I craved pain’s caress and called out her name

I loved her abusing my body, fingering my internal organs

Dissociating my soul from spirit

I can do without pain no more

Pain, my eternal companion

I bow to you

Pain, my air

 I’m resigned to you

I’d have and feel pain than anyone else.