Wormwood and Yellow Carnations

Where my heart used to be

A deep dark chasm now exists

You sucked from me my breath

And stifled the beats of my heart

You swallowed up and muted my voice

And took away the blinking of my eyes

You played with my thoughts

And burned up my memory vaults

You took away the inner “me”

And left a hollow core to grieve and rot

You deflowered my pride

And vanished with the hymen

You were the blood on my sheet; you stained my life

I held on to air when you left and let go

And now there’s nothing to hold on to

Six years and a decade

How do I cope with this pain?

The tear in my soul makes me hold you in disdain

But I have to be strong for my unborn

So I’d burn your memories up at the end of this line!

Frayed Identity

Inner lining unseen

An extra layer for the skin

A filter of deadly rays of light

A cover for our naked parts

Seasons come

Seasons fade

Inner desires

And the yearning for the sensual caresses

Of the cold wind of our cousins across the seas

Coerced and tricked us

Blindly,

We stripped

And ripped off our inner linings

Alas,

The cold winds of our cousins

Remained with our cousins

Our skins are now burnt

And blackened by the searing heat

From those deadly light rays

Time returns with its offspring

And we are still here

Unaware

Of our shredded seams

A Moment’s Conquest

The sea keeps erasing the prints of my feet

As its waves crush against my legs

The rippling tides caress the hairs on my feet

And the salty breeze thrills my soul

Possessing me, putting me into trance

I feel a presence, then a chill

Making my back tingle

I see the sun falling, gradually

Leaving its residues, and fragments

Scattering across the sky

The clouds filter the fragments

Into assorted streaks hues

Pieces of which bounce off the surface of the water

Oh how I wish this sunset would last for a day

And a day for five and three-sixty hours

Ah, how the prince in me aches…

After burning for all of half a day

Its splendor is displayed in the blink of a moment

The transience of time

I awake from my trance

As the fumes of darkness diffuse through the atmosphere

Chasing away the scenic scent of sunset

The Storm Within

She sits in the dark night with her eyes raised

Staring into heaven’s shadow.

She stares ‘til the black sky tenses.

The sky’s blackness morphs to a dark orange-red hue.

The disquiet of the heavens stirs the stagnant air.

Fuming in disgust and protesting to her intense stare,

The air morphs into wind.

Wind bursts out and awakens the earth’s crust;

Dust becomes a painting on all life.

She continues to stare, 

She doesn't blink

The sky squirms

Her eyes are the vents to her fury

Her anger tortures the innocent night’s sky

Her rage yanks out the breath from the wind

As trees fly, the heavens begin to cry

Its tears splattering as blood from a severed artery

Her eyes are stung by heavens tears; she blinks.

As the heavens weep, the cries of the skies louden

Every scream triggering a radiant steak across the skies

The boisterous wind crushes her down

As heaven’s tears cleanses her.

As the raging furnace burning deep within her is doused,

She turns to him and whispers

A Call From Beyond

Tears drench my hardened face

As you are lowered into earths belly

She violently pulls me towards you…

The clouds are a tattered lace

A call from beyond

…I hear your voice beyond the dirt

Memory is a flood inside my brain

Erasing all the sanity within…

The sun emits rays inert

In here, I don’t belong

…Lingering feelings within a lifeless soul

Your love, your care, you loved me whole

A wretched being, but you looked within...

Poisoned darts of rain

A call from beyond
In here, I don’t belong

Let me be as cold as you

To journey with you beyond the gates of life

For in this world I do not belong

In that world, you do not belong

Let me hear your voice call from beyond

Tears of a Fatherless Son

You hardly read to me

She always did

She spoke to me

Making me feel wanted, and loved

She asked why you were always busy

You said it was to make my life comfortable

And that when I arrived, you’d be there

My underdeveloped heart gladdened

It filled with expectations of seeing you

I just couldn’t wait

The doctors pronounced me premature

For I was in a hurry to see you

I was overwhelmed with joy as I heard your gruff voice

For I knew you were the one

The one in whose arms I’d mature

I loved my first encounter with you

You were so scared to hold me

Thinking you’d damage my developing bones

I remembered how she giggled

When you delicately wrapped your arms around me

I especially loved you referring to me as junior

And I looked forward to spending my life with you, senior

But, it’s been 19 long, lonely years since…

Accumulating the sporadic times I spent with you

Would not even amount to two years

What went wrong, daddy?

What went wrong?

Anytime she reminded you to spend time with me

You asked her of her existence

But she needed you too

To complement her existence

And anytime I cried for you

You told me to look forward to our quality times

Could you explain the “quality time”, for I know not what it is

Was it the 4 weekly minutes of you asking “how are you?”

Or my formative years spent in the midst of strangers

Your guidance was a desire I craved

I needed you to show me the way

To spank me anytime I misbehaved

And to laugh even though my jokes were dry

I needed to know about men from a man

Those dreams at night

My sticky pajamas in the morn

Those eternal, tormenting emotions

The angst, the lust, those youthful desires

She tried, but she didn’t really understand

You understood, but you didn’t really try

I guess to you, I wasn’t important enough

I might sound ungrateful

If so, please pardon me

Cos I am truly grateful for all you did

Your money sent me to the best nursery school

But I wasn’t nursed to my satisfaction

You provided me the finest basic education

But my basic desire was for you

Then you locked me up in your former senior high school

Leaving me with that obnoxious “school father”

You even bought me trained home teachers

But my most important teacher should have been you

After I graduated top of my class

You image was absent from my graduation pictures

I am educated and there is emptiness in me

I can’t boast about my dad, for I know not who he is

I know you aided in my birth but I know not who you are

I doubt you can hear me say all these

But I wish you could hear me say all these

I wish snippets of my voice will drift into your fading consciousness

My heart aches as I see all those tubes plugged into you

The breath in me drains as I feel your cold, lifeless hands in mine

Oh, how I wish I could comfort myself by reminiscing about our happy times!

Alas, I find no memories

I want to scream at you for depriving me of your love

But I wish I could give a part of me to see you arise

I wish I could have just one extra day with you

I love you dad; I think I do

But I miss you more than the opportunity I had to love

PS: This is a plea to all guys to consider the responsibility of being a father before impregnating anyone. And to those that have children: please, be a responsible and loving father. Do not deprive them of your love which essentially involves the time you spend with them.

For Boston

Feet thumping

Arms pumping

Heart pacing

They neared the finished line

A foresight of recognition playing in the mind

Sound deafening

Blast crippling

Flesh scattering

They forgot their tired limbs

And fled in search of safety’s arms

Coward hiding

Child dying

Future warring

A terrorist attack mentioned

A feared retaliation won’t see light

~BostonBleeds~

©2013-04-16

Memories – The Lashes

~A deep breath~

~Shivering~

Wondering how I got into this mess

She’s watching

Friends are looking

The whole school is present

A habitual late comer….

1!

Ajei!

Fear in my heart

A sting on my ass

I can do…

2!!

Aish!

This second one really stings

But hey,

Think of the cheers, the ‘fans’…..

3!!!

Damn!

Hot!

~My body’s heating up~

~My eyes beginning to water~

Duke don’t…

4!!!!

Ouch!

This one is a venomous bite

Not a sting

Maybe a cobra’s

Or a puff adder’s

~Body trembling~

5!!!!!

Oh God!!!

Eh, I can't take this

~Teary eyed~

~Flaming buttocks~

Hey, be brave

She’s looking…

But I want to touch

Don’t…

6!!!!!!

Shit!!!

~Heat all over~

I’ve done it

She’s smiling at me

They cheering me...

Endured six lashes

No flinching

~Trembling~

My ass, a furnace

I wondered if my feet could take me to the classroom

Some friends cheered me

My legs didn’t fail

I got to class

I was trembling within

My emotions, a freely flowing river                    *

I built a dam around it

These guys shouldn’t see you cry

She shouldn’t see you show pain

I tried to sit

I couldn’t

Welts on my butt

The dam overflowing

No! I can take it no more

I can't

The dam burst!!!

******************

(This occured when i was in JSS (or Junoir High School)

This goes to all those who were able to endure Mr. Twumasi’s (gbashu) jams, Miss Agbozo, Mr Cantreph, Mr Hans, Miss(?) Dowuna (dat head mistress who makes u touch your toes as she lashes you), Mr Mensah, etc…

Oh, and how can I forget Mr. Dominic Nyame’s two goons, Monsieur Zigah, and Tonton Tiana

(pardon me if I didn’t get some of the names out)

My Better-Worst Half

Darkness dawns

I’ve still not found ma way

I feel a strain, I encounter pain

She bears me down

He chokes me by my neck

I gather strength

As I try to rise

I find the strength

And succeed in killing pain

My success is transient

Pain resurrects, along with fear

Swarming around me

They taunt and rape me…

…With thorns

Pain, empowered by despair

Leaves scarlet red scars all over me

My flesh, wounded and bleeding

Becomes tender to any kind of touch

Painfully tender

Pain, helped by sorrow,

Stare into my eyes and smile

A cold smile

I shiver

Yet, my heart warms

I hated it

Pain, accompanied by anger, draws close

I feel his breath

Inhale her fragrance

I tense to pain’s kiss

Rough but sweet

This time, I didn’t reject her

I didn’t fight him

I hate that I love it

I enjoyed, and adore the thrill

Pain’s thrill

Twas erotically fulfilling

I desired pain in me, and yearned for its sear

I felt him plough through me

I craved pain’s caress and called out her name

I loved her abusing my body, fingering my internal organs

Dissociating my soul from spirit

I can do without pain no more

Pain, my eternal companion

I bow to you

Pain, my air

 I’m resigned to you

I’d have and feel pain than anyone else.

Dreams of Yesterday

Dreams of yesterday

Reality today

Reality transforms to nightmare

And I’m ‘live’ in it…

The book, yes the book

The book they kept from the common people

They banned translations;

For fear of it being misunderstood

They forbade reproductions;

Lest the common folk manhandle it

They even prohibited discussions

When no priest was around

I dreamt of a day,

When all, could cherish it,

Read it,

Appreciate it.

That day dawns

And I desire to break with it…

The chance fell on me

To translate into the common language

With joy in my heart

My quill pen commenced work

Halfway through, around the 36^th,

They found out

And they found me too

They smoked me out

Accused me of being a heretic

Even “Saint Peter’s” stool was hurled at me

(Their own sacred stool)

I was dragged through the street

(Reminiscent of a figure in the book)

I was made synonymous to the devil

(They almost trampled on me like a serpent)

They urged me to recant, to confess

I refused, never giving in

Their anger got fuelled

They took me to the center,

The center of the square

The square in the “Holy Yard”

They tied me up

And bounded me to a pole

Then they put my copy around my neck

They placed a lot of wood, dry wood, around me

(The sun was scorching)

They sprinkled 666 bottles of gasoline on then

(The sun was blazing)

A lighted match was thrown in

(A piece of the sun touched me)

The people began to roar

My torture had begun

I knew I’d thoroughly burn

Burn to death and fall in ashes

(Those ashes will be holier than their conscience)

Yet

I looked up

I smiled

‘Cos this nightmare

Will soon be over!