CONFUSED?

Expressing words on paper has never been so difficult

I’m at a loss as to where to begin

I feel like a computer novice using Linux

But then I have this strong emotion compressed in my chest

Needing an outlet I can’t seem to provide

 I’m in danger of exploding… unless I find out an outlet

Sorrowfully, I don’t know how to express what I feel

I guess I’m confused

Adoration?

Love?

 Friendship? No! More than friends.

But… I don’t think it’s love…

Or I don’t want to admit it is?

I know I tend to hurt you with my words

It could be because of my confused state

Hurting you is not what I’m good at

Hurting you is a consideration I’ve never dreamed of

I’m trying, yet I can’t control me

My feelings for you are undefined

It’s like you’re my friend, my sister, my lover, my wife, all combined

Whenever I hear your voice, I get an inner satisfaction

When I’m down and out, with nothing able to excite me

The mention of your name electrifies me

It’s difficult to accede to your request

Your request for me to call you not

Your request for me to talk to you never

It’s like denying me my breath

Making me suffocate, comatose

I pick my phone to call

Then this tormenting thought takes over – “I might hurt you”

But what do I do

I terribly need to talk

To no one but you

Please let me hurt you one more time

Or I get damaged and never recover.