CONFUSED?

Expressing words on paper has never been so difficult

I’m at a loss as to where to begin

I feel like a computer novice using Linux

But then I have this strong emotion compressed in my chest

Needing an outlet I can’t seem to provide

 I’m in danger of exploding… unless I find out an outlet

Sorrowfully, I don’t know how to express what I feel

I guess I’m confused

Adoration?

Love?

 Friendship? No! More than friends.

But… I don’t think it’s love…

Or I don’t want to admit it is?

I know I tend to hurt you with my words

It could be because of my confused state

Hurting you is not what I’m good at

Hurting you is a consideration I’ve never dreamed of

I’m trying, yet I can’t control me

My feelings for you are undefined

It’s like you’re my friend, my sister, my lover, my wife, all combined

Whenever I hear your voice, I get an inner satisfaction

When I’m down and out, with nothing able to excite me

The mention of your name electrifies me

It’s difficult to accede to your request

Your request for me to call you not

Your request for me to talk to you never

It’s like denying me my breath

Making me suffocate, comatose

I pick my phone to call

Then this tormenting thought takes over – “I might hurt you”

But what do I do

I terribly need to talk

To no one but you

Please let me hurt you one more time

Or I get damaged and never recover.

Mr. Thief A.R. Stealer.

Could be a compulsion

Could be greed

Might as well be a habit

But for all that I care not

That watch, it tick tocks well

Its straps are gold, swell!

I could have that as well

I watch your arm swing,

And the twists of your wrist

I follow you closely

And with a delicate touch, the watch is mine

That leather bag, very fine it looks

A laptop’s inside I know

To have that bag, it would be great

To sell that laptop, could make me high

I watch your body sway

I pay attention to your steps

I follow you closely

And with a swish of my knife, the bag’s gone

I observe your buttocks sway

You’re a man but hey, I’m not gay

Behold! I notice a bulge

At the right side of your buttocks

A wallet, I envisage

In it could be some dollars

If the wallet could be my possession

The dollars would end up mine

So I look at your buttocks sway

And pay attention to your steps

I follow you closely

With a gentle pat on your ass

Your wallet’s mine

MUM

From afar I saw you

I noticed the elegance in your strides

I saw you smile

It melted my diamond-like heart

I admired your eyes

They glittered like a starry sky in a moonless night

I longed for your lips

So full and perfectly placed

I eyed your breasts

So firm they turned me on

The wholeness of you

Was saved in memory

To say you are beautiful will be a cliché

To say you are ethereal, will be an understatement

But then, allow me ‘understate’ you

Your beauty is ethereal, heavenly, angelic

Your voice

As melodious and rhythmic as the rhymes of Kweku Sonny

Opened the locks of my heart.

Your touch

As soulful and inspiring as the environment in P.O.E.T.S

Changed the locks of my heart

You sometimes made me cry

Many times, you caused me joy

You made me restless

Yet I slept peacefully cos of you

But…..

Hmmmm….

You don’t know these, only I do

For I lack the courage to tell you.